Oh, Vlassis may have ended up using the 4.0b10 stuff after all, I remember now that he had some problems with getting 4.1 to shutdown cleanly. I unfortunately never had time to look at his installer closely.
There should be tDOM 0.8.0 binaries in the zip you downloaded from me. If you copied the files from my zip over an older installation of AOLserver you may be mixing files from two different version of tDOM? I'm not sure why you're getting the multithreading message. My zip just includes the pre-built win32 dlls from tdom.org - I think that download used to be a multithreaded build...
I'm afraid that's the only thing that comes to mind, if you don't figure it out, you might ask on the AOLserver mailing list and Zoran or someone else could know what's happening.
Is the nsxml compatibility layer still working?